Ummm hey I was wondering if you wanted to do a f4f?

well you can stop wondering because the answer is no.

this is my best friend and he doesn’t have a tumblr but i really like this picture of him

this is my best friend and he doesn’t have a tumblr but i really like this picture of him


(Source: sirnovak)

i justify spending money in the weirdest ways i’m literally like “well i could have gone out to dinner last night but i didn’t so that saved me $20 so now i can buy this solid gold toilet and not feel bad about it” 

follow me lulz


literally go fuck yourself

in other news, if you send me fanmail asking me to follow you, i will both ignore you and inexplicably hate you for the rest of my life

so i’m temping as a receptionist and the office is full of old white men and they keep coming in to tell me things and like expecting me to remember their names and i’m like no??? you’re all old white men?? you’re old white guy #1, he’s old white guy #2, that one over there is old white guy in the gay as hell shirt?

so today i was walking home through central park and like 50 people on bikes rode past me which wasn’t particularly startling until i realized nONE OF THEM HAD ANY LEGS THERE WERE JUST 50 TORSOS ON WHEELS SPEEDING AROUND ME IT WAS SO TERRIFYING and that’s why large groups of amputees should warn me before having a charity bike ride

suspicion confirmed: there is in fact zack and cody twincest fanfiction

if you value your life, don’t read it

Anne Frank was one of my heros and I like to think I know quite a bit about her. Anne would have been so happy to know that two people with such sad lives were finding happiness with each other. She would have considered it romantic. She was a wonderfully positive person.

Honestly if I died and then 2 cancerous people found love in my attic I’d be absolutely thrilled.